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Songs for Big Boys to Cry to

by Paul Brinnel

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1.
I never really thought it through — never made a plan — but my heart’s made of glue and I’m a fisherman I’ve never fallen out of love — I’ve never lost my want of need — my tender reach — wanting dove — grasping steed Never learning — always spurning — dredging what should stay below — and turning it to face the sun You stake a star not knowing if it’s on the up and up — it flares and fades and punctures — Squealing like a hog, as it bleeds you wonder — has it always been so corrupt Coagulating bile — feeding ever finer fog — though it took a - while — I scrapped the epilogue I wrote it when I just wasn’t feelin’ myself — I was only feelin’ you — I was only feelin’ you Next assay is on someone else — someone true — someone who — can pretend to be Everything I need— in a dream — just a dream — just a dream
2.
You brought your love into my life You’re my passport to paradise What did I ever do without you? Never thought I’d feel like this You’d take a shower while I piss I’d be so comfortable around you Been through it all before I know that waning high But the thing about the love you pour it keeps on growing as time keeps flying by Used to fritter time away Passion feeling so passé What did I ever do without you? You’ll never catch me with a frown After you’ve been hanging round I feel so wonderful around you Been up this hill before I’ve scaled it by and by Been thinkin' love’s a chore But then you came along and now I’m pacified You brought your love in - to my life You’re my passport to paradise What did I ever do without you?
3.
Unlovable 03:43
I just want you to be happy — happy to be miserable That you should never feel alone — just unlovable And in the evening — when you walk between — the shadows and the shade — You know you own the moonlight — but you can sense you overpaid She never would’a chosen what she done — But what’s done did for somebody ‘eady done done So you rendezvous with relics — that remind of times when you laughed But now the only time you smile — S’when you’re being photographed And in the morning — when you feel that unforgiving breeze — D’you ever think ’bout how it feels— or just ‘bout what it means She never would’a chosen what she done — But what’s done did for somebody ‘eady done done
4.
His Arms 03:57
His arms were a part of her body An extension of everything — she’d ever be With him revealed she feels — nothing is real Reeling from sorrow she curses her naivety When did it end? Is love always fleeting? Even in mourning she feels him so tenderly Dancing around, she’s nobody’s clown But she’s nobody’s queen Uncherished she slips on her nightgown And pulls it so tight she can feel its embrace in her dreams His arms were a part of her body An extension of everything — she’d ever be With him revealed she feels — nothing is real ‘Cept for the sugar she pours in her tea 40 years later she’s kept her promise Lonely, she clips from the paper things no one will read Dancing around, she’s nobody’s clown But she’s nobody’s queen Uncherished she slips on her nightgown And pulls it so tight she can feel its embrace in her dreams His arms were a part of her body An extension of everything — she’d ever be She’s long since abandoned any hopes of salvation She putters around, bugging her family Dancing around, she’s nobody’s clown But she’s nobody’s queen
5.
Can't Stop 03:29
I heard whispers of your name — long before I caught glimpses of your face — I heard songs about you — well before I wrote one myself I taught a course on how to fall — but somewhere throughout it all — I never managed more than a trip — Now it’s been long enough for me — to be free of the insanity — that you leave me when you’re around Cuz I just can’t stop thinking about you — Bout how I can’t be without you — Yesterday I hadn’t met you — Today I just can’t forget you Can’t help but stew on a lady like you— And how I wanna make you mine — While it’s true I hardly know you— What I’ve seen is oh so fine But time passes slowly and I’m not in place — I hear your voice often but I seldom see your face When I’m closing in, you turn and walk away — And when I chance to catch you, I don’t know what to say — but that’s not true, I know exactly what to say That I just can’t stop thinking about you — Bout how I can’t be without you — Yesterday I hadn’t met you — Today I just can’t forget you I always knew a lady like you — would stray my way someday — but I’ve no words to say to you — that’s aren’t a string of clichés And time passes slowly and I’m not in place — I hear your voice often but I seldom see your face When I’m closing in, you turn and walk away — And when I chance to catch you, I don’t know what to say — ‘Cept I just can’t stop thinking about you — No I just can’t stop thinking about you — I tried to stop thinking bout you — But that’s all I can do without ya Just keep thinkin’ and thinkin’ and pinin’ and dreamin’, agonizin’ and grievin’, I’m frettin’ and mopin’, and wishin’ and hopin’ (No I just) can’t stop thinkin’ bout ya (No I just) can’t stop thinkin’ bout ya (No I just) can’t stop thinkin’ bout ya (No I just) can’t stop thinkin’ bout ya

credits

released June 3, 2019

Music & Lyrics by Paul Brinnel

Paul Brinnel - Vocals, Piano [3-5], Rhodes [1,2], Castanets [5], Auxiliary Hand Claps [5]
Peter Paul Burger V - Drums [1-5], Tambourine [5], Hand Claps [5]
David Ladon - Electric Bass [1-3, 5]
Seth Adams - Acoustic Bass [4]
Stephanie Young - Violin [1]
Zachary Sears - Cello [1,2]
Thor Bremer - Timpani [1]
David Brinnel - Bass Harmonica [2]
Hailey Brinnel - Trombone [3]
Maryann Michael - Background Vocals [3]


Recorded & Mixed by Paul Brinnel

Mastering by Collin Jordan @ The Boiler Room Chicago

Photography, Graphics & Layout by Timothy Dilich

Special Thanks to Sara, Mom, Jeff, Matt, Ben, Rahim, Lisa, Rob, Tom, Paul, Pete, Ted, Ralph & Duke

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